at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
