Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
