some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
