so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
