So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
