never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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