So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
