For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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