More tranny stories later!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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