I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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