I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
