see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
