Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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