It's Friday. Sex?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize