Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
