is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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