I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
