walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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