Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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