so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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