No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
