wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
