don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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