There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
