i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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