Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
