We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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