The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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