i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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