i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize