Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
