...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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