good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
