Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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