dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
