thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
