so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
