why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
