Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
