So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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