I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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