Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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