Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
