he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
