On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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