Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize