You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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