I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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