You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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