awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
