Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
