I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
