Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
