are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
