8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
