I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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