i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you will always have a special place in my vag
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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