I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Barsexuality is the new black.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize