i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
