She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am mentally ready for anal.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
