you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
