what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
