Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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