You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
