So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
