pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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